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Animal Planet is on crack

So mom makes me put on Pet Star, a really dumb show that should really be called Stupid Pet Tricks, because that's what it basically is. It's hosted by Slater from Saved by The Bell, and it's got a panel of 3 'celebrity' judges each episode.

Normally the tricks are pretty run-of-the-mill. Some are pretty good. Some are really dumb.

Today there was one that took the cake. This guy walked in with a Schnauzer and proudly claimed that she would clean his teeth. So he sat back on this chair, the dog got on his lap, and then he proceeded to make out with his dog. The audience was all "eeeeeeeeew" and really freaked out. And the judges were stunned. And the guy just kept on making out with his dog and all I could think was "who is in charge of auditions and why did they let this guy in?"

My mom was the best, though. Once she recovered from the shock enough to speak, the first coherent words out of her mouth were "He has to be homosexual. They do that."


Then one of the judges who's one of those random Comedy Central guys, asked the contestant guy to kiss him, you know, as a joke, and the guy did. And mom was all "See? I told you."


The guy went on tv to make out with his dog. There are no words. *lol* And Mario Lopez was all "So how did you start making out with your dog?" because he usually asks how they figured whatever trick out, and that was no trick, that was making out with the dog. And the guy went on about how she got her tongue down to his tonsils. No words.




( 20 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 5th, 2005 08:58 pm (UTC)
strange things run on your TV.. American TV programme? these peeps are a mystery to me: high-necked like nothing else but loving odd things like these.. *shakeshead*

are you not that grumpy anymore like you were earlier this day? I really thought I had done something wrong..
Jul. 5th, 2005 09:08 pm (UTC)
I was grumpy? *blinks* I don't recall you doing anything...
Jul. 5th, 2005 09:25 pm (UTC)
oh.. I had thought because of my tease with the memes :) ok, my fault, sorry!
Jul. 5th, 2005 09:35 pm (UTC)
The memes were funny. I just didn't feel like doing memes at the moment. I enjoyed them though. :)
Jul. 6th, 2005 10:09 am (UTC)
ahh yes..heh!! me again.. was a little bit edgy yesterday.. lo siento!
Jul. 6th, 2005 01:39 pm (UTC)
Don't worry about it! :) Life is good.
Jul. 5th, 2005 08:59 pm (UTC)
Yes, but was it a MALE dog? *snicker*

Jul. 5th, 2005 09:10 pm (UTC)
*lol* No, it was a girl dog.
Jul. 5th, 2005 09:19 pm (UTC)

Oh well, gay man would only kiss a BOY dog.

I'm just following your mom's bizarro logic here. LOL

You have, um, explained bestiality to her, haven't you?
Jul. 5th, 2005 09:26 pm (UTC)
It would be a wasted effort. She has two categories. Fundies, and Sexual Deviants. Apparently, all deviance is interchangeable.
Jul. 5th, 2005 09:43 pm (UTC)
Sometimes those two categories overlap. LOL

I know what you mean. My mom seems to think that deviance is interchangable too.

She lets it slip all the time that she thinks that a homosexual is probably also a pedophile. I keep gently reminding her that most pedophiles are heterosexual, because most PEOPLE in general are heterosexual. Just going with the averages here.

The scary thing about people believing that is that it keeps you from being afraid of the people you SHOULD be afraid of.
Jul. 5th, 2005 09:50 pm (UTC)
Truly. Like the fundies. Heh.

I've had to learn to pick my battles. Trying to enlighten my mother on anything (from sexuality to how to work the VCR) is the equivalent of headbutting a brick wall repeatedly.
Jul. 6th, 2005 12:12 pm (UTC)
I know what you mean. My mother is okay, but she was raised in such an authoritarian manner that she thinks no child could possibly know more than a parent. Apparently godlike wisdom is bestowed upon one when one bears and raises a child.
My dad was raised 180 of that, so he's a nice, reasonable and rational human being who thinks for himself, and my mother is obsessed with making rules and can't stand being wrong. Because that's what being raised in an authoritarian manner does to you.

I hate to remind her that I'm also a parent and every time she treats me like an idiot she undermines me in my own children's eyes, but that's what finally made her quit treating me like I'd shave my armpits with a chainsaw.

Jul. 6th, 2005 01:41 pm (UTC)
So in her view, you're not as smart as her, and your kids can't be as smart as you, which means your grandchildren will be even less smart and your great-grandchildren will be completely retarded? The human race is in trouble. People need to stop breeding RIGHT NOW!

Heh. *snickers*

like I'd shave my armpits with a chainsaw.

Ick. Owie.
Jul. 5th, 2005 09:50 pm (UTC)
*falls down*

I plan to read this to everyone at work. You just know that when he decided to do the show that he worked for a while trying to figure out what to call it besides "making out with my dog."
Jul. 5th, 2005 09:51 pm (UTC)
*lol* Most likely.
Jul. 6th, 2005 02:49 am (UTC)


Jul. 6th, 2005 03:49 am (UTC)
Meep! *sues Animal Planet for wrongful death*
Jul. 6th, 2005 03:44 pm (UTC)
Oh, god, that is disgusting!
Jul. 6th, 2005 03:56 pm (UTC)
It was pretty surreal. I burst out laughing mostly because I couldn't believe it was happening.
( 20 comments — Leave a comment )

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