James (elven_wolf) wrote,

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Fundie Fraud Spam!

I was going to share this before, but forgot. (Gee, surprise that is.) I have to assume there are people gullible enough to fall for this, otherwise the spammers would simply give up.

I have not corrected any spelling or anything.

Dear Beloved in Christ

It is by the grace of God that I received Christ, Having known the truth, I had no choice than to do what is lawful and right in the sight of God for eternal life and in the sight of man for witness of God?s mercy and glory upon my life. I am Mrs Melissa Pointer the wife of Mr Harry Pointer, my husband worked with the Chevron/Texaco in Kenya [Kenya. Notice how these things always involve Africa somehow.] for twenty years before he died in the year 2001. We were married for twenty-seven years without a child. My Husband died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. [Dude, god really hated you...] Before his death we were both born again Christians. [Didn't do you any good, did it?] Since his death I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. [Actually, if you were to really follow the Bible, you'd have to marry your brother-in-law. But we'll just conveniently ignore that one, shall we?] When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of US $3.5M. (Three Million Five Hundred Thousand U.S. Dollars) with a Bank in Europe. [He had all this money and couldn't get you some in vitro or something?]

Presently,this money is still with the Bank and the management just wrote me as the beneficiary to come forward to sign for the release of this money or rather issue a letter of authorization to some body to receive it on my behalf if I cannot come over. Presently, I'm in a hospital in Kenya where I have been undergoing treatment for esophageal cancer. [Yep, god hates you.] I have since lost my ability to talk and my doctors have told me that I have only a few weeks to live. It is my last wish to see this money distributed to charity organizations any where in the World.

Because relatives and friends have plundered so much of my wealth since my illness, I cannot live with the agony of entrusting this huge responsibility to any of them. [So I will entrust it to a perfect stranger found with the aid of spam e-mail. I'm sure god will find a way to screw that up for you too, sweetie.] please, I beg you in the name of God to help me Stand and collect the Funds from the Bank. I want a person that is God fearing that will use this money to fund churches,orphanages and widows propagating the word of God and to ensure that the house of God is maintained. The Bible made us to understand that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don't want my husband's hard
earned money to be misused by unbelievers. [Oh, so make sure the churches, orphanages, and widows are all Christians too, because you know, them damn Jews have all the money anyway, and the Muslims are all out to get us.]

I don'twant a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner. [If this were at all real, I'd be tempted to take the money and use it to fund The Church of Pagans, Heathens, Drugs, and Porn.]Hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. [Are you suuuuuure?] I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my soundless voice and presence of my husband's relatives around me always. I don't want them to know about this development. [Because they'd put you in the asylum where you obviously need to be?]

With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of Attorney who is in Europe as he will be the one to assist you in laying claims for this funds. Yours in Christ, Mrs Melisa Pointer

Please reply me via my direct email address mlspointer@01yahoo.co.in
Oh, fundies put the fun... in, uhm... fundies? *snerk*

Tags: spam

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