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Except it will be funny in a completely non-cute way, and it won't be followed by a MacGyver rerun.

And I'm not talking about the dinosaurs.

Adam, Eve, and T. Rex: Giant roadside dinosaur attractions are used by a new breed of creationists as pulpits to spread their version of Earth's origins.
"We're putting evolutionists on notice: We're taking the dinosaurs back," said Ken Ham, president of Answers in Genesis, a Christian group building a $25-million creationist museum in Petersburg, Ky., that's already overrun with model sauropods and velociraptors.

"They're used to teach people that there's no God, and they're used to brainwash people," he said. "Evolutionists get very upset when we use dinosaurs. That's their star."
Do I even have to poke holes in this? It's Swiss cheese already.

The nearly 7-acre museum, low-tech theme park and science center embodies its founder's belief that God created the world in six days. The dinosaurs, even super carnivores such as T. rex, dined as vegetarians in the Garden of Eden until Adam and Eve sinned — and only then did they feast on other creatures, according to the Christian-based young-Earth theory.

About 4,500 years after Adam and Eve arrived, the theory goes, pairs of baby dinosaurs huddled in Noah's Ark, and a colossal flood drowned the rest and scattered their fossils. The ark-borne animals repopulated the planet — meaning that folk tales about fire-breathing beasts are accounts of humans battling dinosaurs, who still roamed the planet.
AAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

The creation museums are riling mainstream Christian denominations that believe the Earth is billions of years old and that God uses evolution as a tool. This conviction makes modern science compatible with their faith in a creator.

"Taking the Bible as astronomy or physics is blasphemy. They're treating it as an elementary textbook and it's not," said Francisco J. Ayala, a UC Irvine evolutionary biology professor and ordained Dominican priest.
See this? Is what I want to see. Non-nutty religious people telling it like (they believe) it is. Either way, that's how I was taught in Catholic school.

"If [evolutionists] convince people that dinosaurs are exotic, strange creatures, they've won right there, and the Bible looks like a book of Jewish fairy tales," said Sean Meek, executive director of the Tennessee group Project Creation.
And this differs from reality... how?

Gary Kanter had driven to the desert to size up Dinny the dinosaur and the 60 surrounding acres of scrubland, with the idea of expanding the adjacent truck stop.

While gawking up at the dinosaur's tummy, Kanter imagined the beast's tree-trunk legs lumbering across the barren plain.

"He's like a movable Golden Gate bridge," he recalled thinking when he reached his epiphany: Dinny was the perfect pitchman for a higher power.
Yep, the dinosaur was the bridge that Fred Flintstone pushed his little car up along. And at the end there was another dinosaur with a really long tail posing as the toll booth thingie. All in accordance to god's plan.

Kids flock to the huge statues. "And it's not like they're crying, 'Oh, mommy, take me out, I'm scared.' They're drawn to it," Chiles said. "There's something in their DNA that knows man walked with these creatures on Earth."
I'm drawn to elfses and alienses. *gasp* They walked the earth with humans! Oh happy day! All my dreams have come true! *goes elf-hunting*

If there really was a genetic memory of dinosaurs, kids would be FLEEING from them, not walking up to them going 'ooooh'. *shakes head*

I weep for humanity. No, I'm done weeping. I laugh at humanity. *points and laughs*

Strategizing a Christian Coup d'Etat:

GREENVILLE, S.C. — It began, as many road trips do, with a stop at Wal-Mart to buy a portable DVD player.

But Mario DiMartino was planning more than a weekend getaway. He, his wife and three children were embarking on a pilgrimage to South Carolina.

"I want to migrate and claim the gold of the Lord," said the 38-year-old oil company executive from Pennsylvania. "I want to replicate the statutes and the mores and the scriptures that the God of the Old Testament espoused to the world."
You know, the last thing we need are more fundie idiots in my state, much less those who have anything to do with the oil industry, so sail on forth.

At a time when evangelicals are exerting influence on the national political stage — having helped secure President Bush's reelection — Christian Exodus believes that people of faith have failed to assert their moral agenda: Abortion is legal. School prayer is banned. There are limits on public displays of the Ten Commandments. Gays and lesbians can marry in Massachusetts.
Oh the horror! School prayer is not banned, by the way. You can pray your little hearts out any time you like as long as you're not disrupting class. What's not allowed is FORCED prayer, which is what these muckers really want, as someone pointed out in the comments.

"If necessary," he said, "we will secede from the union."
Please do! We'll help you!

Tempest brews over quotes on Starbucks cups. I never thought I'd come down on the side of Starbucks, ever. They're a private corporation, they have a right to put whatever they want on their damn cups. Whoever disagrees with the quotes is welcome to not drink there. Or discuss it, which appears to be the point of putting the quote in the first place. *shakes head* I can't believe that as a society we're still throwing hissy fits over sex.

Scientific Savvy? In U.S., Not Much:

Dr. Miller's data reveal some yawning gaps in basic knowledge. American adults in general do not understand what molecules are (other than that they are really small). Fewer than a third can identify DNA as a key to heredity. Only about 10 percent know what radiation is. One adult American in five thinks the Sun revolves around the Earth, an idea science had abandoned by the 17th century.
*stares, blinks, stares some more* I.... *head-desk*

Lately, people who advocate the teaching of evolution have been citing Dr. Miller's ideas on what factors are correlated with adherence to creationism and rejection of Darwinian theories. In general, he says, these fundamentalist views are most common among people who are not well educated and who "work in jobs that are evaporating fast with competition around the world."

But not everyone is happy when he says things like that. Every time he goes on the radio to talk about his findings, he said, "I get people sending me cards saying they will pray for me a lot."
If only they would pray for an end to stupid.

And that is all I'm willing to deal with today. The stupid, it burns.

----

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
amezri
Aug. 31st, 2005 04:09 pm (UTC)
*blinks*

I have no words.
tylers_abyss
Aug. 31st, 2005 05:35 pm (UTC)
Aaaah, the stupidity, it burns! *scratches eyes out*

medusasowl
Sep. 1st, 2005 09:13 am (UTC)
My brain... my poor precious brain!
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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