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Gringos Can't Make Salsa

I was at the grocery store a while back, and I came across something I had to buy just for the humour value. A jar of salsa named Green Mountain Gringo.

I gave it to my dad.

Well, I knew it had to suck, but with a name like that, you just have to. It all ties in with our running joke of starting a restaurant called the Spicalicious and place it next to the hicktastic 'Hometown Family Restaurant' down the road. Aunt Marcia will make Mama Marcia's Spicghetti Sauce, and I'll make sorullitos de maíz, and dad will make his chili and we'll have Green Mountain Gringo salsa.

Except just today I finally cracked open the jar. It's craptastic. Truly craptastic.

I think I'll toss the salsa and plant a cactus in the jar.

It'll be a conversation piece. ;)


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 11th, 2006 11:33 pm (UTC)
Hehehehe ok that is so wrong it's right!
Sep. 11th, 2006 11:38 pm (UTC)
Well, I'm a gringo (Irish, German Jewish and Dutch, mostly) but I learned to make Mexican food from actual Mexicans. (which means you have to actually have...Mexican friends! omg!)

No seriously, I lived in an apartment complex in Houston when I was first married where I was like the only white person around (hey, nobody told me this was an ethnic neighborhood when I moved in). I'd be doing my laundry in the laundry room and after 3 months of listening to Spanish I started understanding it a little, which was scary. But, those ladies were so nice to me, and showed me how to make really good food. They were the nicest neighbors I ever had in an apartment building, truly. You know these are nice folks when a lady has 5 kids and she folds your laundry for you and leaves it in a basket with a little note asking for the 50 cents back, please, she spent to dry it, instead of chucking your wet shit up on the counter to dry her own clothes.

I hate most salsa in a jar, it's like...you might as well just buy some Mexican style stewed tomatoes from S&W and save your bucks.

Sep. 11th, 2006 11:46 pm (UTC)
I don't know how to cook for squat, so you beat me there. :) I actually like the Tostitos brand salsa. But this Gringo stuff, daaaayumn.

That's a neat story about the ladies in your building. I don't have any neat Mexican lady stories, except the one time when I was a kid and went to a birthday party for one of my classmates, and her family was from Mexico so all the cousins and stuff had accents, and by the end of the afternoon, I was speaking with the same accent without realising it. It was funny. Other than that I never really had much familiarity with Mexican people in Puerto Rico. But now I work with three Mexican people at Bookspam, and they're cool.

What's S&W?
Sep. 11th, 2006 11:52 pm (UTC)
I like Pace, one kind of it anyway. And some fresh stuff they make here at the local grocery.

There are Puerto Ricans in Houston, but far outnumbered by Mexicans. (and a LOT of Vietnamese) But, I went to a gay Puerto Rican hairdresser who used to make me laugh a lot. He was over the top sparkly gay. *G*

Oh, I'm a trained chef, and the first thing I ask someone is if they got any good recipes I can steal. *G*
Sep. 12th, 2006 12:15 am (UTC)
Pace is okay too.

There's Puerto Ricans everywhere. We're like rabbits. Or virii.

Heh, my 'recipes' would probably make you twitch. *lol* If I'm in the kitchen and someone asks me what I'm making, I always say 'a mess', and I'm referring to the actual food.
Sep. 12th, 2006 07:32 pm (UTC)
::hangs head:: I must confess, I'm a little partial to GMG salsa, though I knew something was fishy when I saw cumin in the ingredients.
Sep. 12th, 2006 11:11 pm (UTC)
It's not that bad once you get used to it, but it's still not my fave. *lol*
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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