Darren? I'm up for adoption. You and Richard can keep me. See? I'm a family-oriented guy, I don't want to break you guys up. I just want to insinuate myself into it. So, whaddaya say? I can cook Puerto Rican food, at times. You'll like that. Plus, Puerto Rican coffee is without a doubt the best in the world, and I have a constant supply. I'm good for a cuddle, easygoing, and will go the extra mile to make those I love happy, plus I love to travel so you can take me anywhere on tour. Trust me, you're getting one hell of a deal.
I'm a sad fanboy, I know. I just had to get that out of my system. You know how it is. ;)