I'm supposed to be getting back to work on Gypsy Fiddle. I do have a few ideas I'm going to implement in the first few chapters, but I just can't seem to get started back up. It's happened before but it always frightens the fuck out of me. I guess because without this all I have is a cubicle and following a band around PA. And that's pathetic. It's fun, but it does nothing to keep the hope of leaving the cubicle alive. It's just a temporary escape from the cubicle.

At first it's fear. I'm sitting here and I think "Oh my god, I'm going to start reading this thing again and realise what a bunch of crap it is and I'll never be able to write again." But I should tell myself that that kind of defeatist talk never got anyone anywhere. And I know that.

It's just been a tough few weeks. At least I've had my Scythian fix and can move on. I hope. Okay this morning, I won't work OT, I'll sit here and read the first few chapters of Gypsy Fiddle, for better or for worse.