June 21st, 2004

elf

So what's this new Britney video called anyway?

The one where she drowns. Sort of. I don't remember the name of it but is it just me or does it truly not make any sense?

So we start with typical Britney. She's rich, she's famous. And we're supposed to feel sorry for the poor widdle rich girl. I feel for you, Brit, I really do. NOT. You knew what you were getting into, and pretending it really bothers you is not going to tug at my heartstrings. [I do have them, I think...]

Reporters shouting at her, getting in the way of Stephen Dorff's latest attempt to recapture the spotlight since Wesley Snipes killed his ass. If he's doing it by hooking up with Britney, I foresee another ass-killing. Britney gets in the tub and promptly drowns. Or so she wants us to think... She goes on this out of body experience type trip at the hospital, for no apparent reason. Stephen Dorff gets to cry and prove that 'OMGICANSOACT!'

Then, for no apparent reason, we're subjected to the sight of Random Anonymous Woman and her OMGLIFEGOESON Random Baby. Why? I ask. Is it just the usual OMGLIFEGOESON crap, or is there a more sinister purpose at work here? Since Britney's dead, could the baby be Britney reincarnated? If so, can we kill it now before it's let loose upon the unsuspecting world?

But here's the kicker. We leave the Random Baby of Doom behind, and we're back at the hotel. And Britney comes up out of the (somewhat dirty, Britney, you're such a skank) water, and no, she's not a zombie as anyone with half a brain would expect. She's alive! And well! And smirking like HAHAFOOLEDYA!

Poor Stephen Dorff. Obviously, he is this video's true victim. If Britney can eat my soul just by subjecting me to this video, imagine what she's done to him.
  • Current Music
    HIM - Resurrection
elf

KATE, KATE WHY???

WHY KATE, WHY? You're an Oscar winner! (She won, right? For Iris? I'm a fish, I can't recall surely.) Why are you in this retarded Pride movie? WHY? OH IT BURNS! IT BURNS US! It feels like I've taken a few hits of acid and sat down to watch Wild Discovery. As produced by Aaron Spelling.

Were you that hard up for cash, Kate?

Oh my eyes! My eyes! *sobs*
  • Current Music
    Pride on A&E