April 8th, 2009

Gypsy Fiddle

Critters are awesome

So I got a review on OWW for the first bit of Gypsy Fiddle. She liked it a lot, and offered some good points that I either had missed or was struggling with and finally decided to put out there to see if anybody spotted the issues.

One has been the scene I struggled with and agonised over and am still not completely happy with. That'll require some TLC.

The other was something that I completely missed because the scene was written literally in one go and I never really did any rewrites on it, even though the character began one way and by the end of it he was something else, as I got to know him and his race through the narrative. And as she points out, he does sound unhinged. But he is a little. I think some small changes may do the trick with that one.

Now for the Scene from Hell. The scene as it stands now is very different from the original scene for various reasons. The outcome always has to be the same, but I keep changing it because of Tyn's actions. I don't want him to look stupid, or cowardly, because he isn't. There are reasons in each version as to why he reacted that way.

The point of concrit isn't to take it as gospel. It's just an opinion, but it's an outside opinion that is impartial and well thought out. Just like I shouldn't immediately accept it, I shouldn't automatically discard it. And it rings true.

I'll wait to see what jpsorrow has to say about it, if he even takes notice of that particular question. In the meantime I'll work on the simpler details.

ETA: I think I may have figured it out. I added enough hints to diffuse the question, I think.