July 9th, 2009

24: pickles!

Gypsy Fiddle: that '24' reference

Here's the scene which inspired the poll. I'd like to note I'm not stressing over this, I'm just curious what people think.
The sound of helicopters makes Kostyantyn's heart jump before he notices that the TV is on, colored flicker on the wall, hushed voices and the sound of gunshots. Why is this on when nothing else is?

He approaches the room, crossing the small hallway. He hears the familiar beep beep of Jack Bauer's ticking clock, probably a repeat on FX. A shadow parts the amber glow for a moment, then disappears. The fictional agent continues to shout at somebody amidst the sounds of guns and helicopters.

Kostyantyn stops cold. His right hand moves back to touch the bottom part of his violin case; an unnecessary but nonetheless vital reassurance that the instrument is still there. It sings a nervous tune in his mind, the notes cautious and somber at the same time. He's never felt such apprehension from the fiddle before. His breath shivering, he forces one foot in front of the other. He forces himself to believe the shadow was a trick of the lights and his mother has fallen asleep on the love seat.

In the room the television is louder, the screaming nonsensical to Kostyantyn as he steps over to the set to turn it off. The sudden silence hurts almost as much as the sounds. The couch is empty, the window open just a crack.
Gypsy Fiddle

It'z mai POV, bitchaz

When I first wrote the first NaNo draft of Gypsy Fiddle, there was basically one POV, Kostyantyn's. I had planned on going back and filling in the 'gaps' with POV from Dan and Lincoln, but as I went back to do that, I started adding Sorin's and Kane's POV as well.

And now Channon Grey got into the picture. In part because I know he'll play a larger part in book three, and there is backstory to that. In part because he's gotten into my brain just a little. Also, some of the reviews seemed interested in Kane and his crew, and Channon is part of that crew. Kane isn't going to be a POV character. He just pulls some strings.

I don't know if I'm jumping around too much. Though this doubt may be because the last two books I've read have all been in 1st person POV. I still can't write 1st person to save my life... the character would either ramble forever, or the book would be 30 pages long. There's usually too much going on in one of my stories for one character to know everything.

I suppose that can be a challenge for later on, try and write from one character only, and play around with what s/he knows of all that's going on. I can't get the feel for that just yet though.

With Legacy of Olympus I had three main POV characters, and I added a fourth and fifth basically on the antagonist side. It didn't seem like I was jumping around too much, though. Maybe I should go back and reread that, see how I did it.

And ironically, I think that right now my weakest POV character is Lincoln. He's a major protagonist, and he drives a fair amount of the action, but for some reason I'm not as deep into his brain as I am into Tyn's and Dan's brains. Furthermore, even in draft 1.1, where I'd already added a couple of scenes with him, there really weren't any other scenes for him to narrate. He's always with either one of the boys after that. So I think that scene can be cut. I just need to make sure what we know about him from that scene comes across in another. Like the fact that he is uber lawful good in alignment.

Should I cut him out as a narrator completely? This could open up a separate possibility for the story. If we can't see what he's thinking, we may not trust him. Or, I could retool him a bit. Even I think his appearance is kind of contrived.

For now I'll leave the scene in, at least until I can figure out where else to reveal what it reveals.