July 25th, 2009

Captain Jack: WhatEVER

All aboard the FAILcoach!

[Note: The Spanish word for 'errand' is the same as the word used for those old-timey western stagecoaches. This will be relevant.]

So, after some arpee in the World of Darkness, I embarked on a set of errands which were tinged with the faint aroma of fail.

They keywords for this errand were 'gas, milk, cereal, booze, curry'. Now, the booze I would get across the street from the grocery store, and further down the road I would get the cash needed to get the curry. The plan was flawless.

My first stop was the state store for geographical reasons. In Pennsylvania, the state (or commonwealth, if you prefer) actually dispenses the alcoholic beverages, except for beer, which you have to get from a guy called a 'beer distributor' and I'm not sure about the wine because you can get that at the Giant (grocery store) and I get mine from the Ren Faire people anyway. We won't touch on the FAIL factor of the PA Liquor Control Board, because everyone who lives here whines about the same thing.

State store. I found the UV vodka right away, which is a key ingredient in my sonic screwdrivers and went to the cashier. He was an old dude, white hair, glasses, kind of grandfatherly. I handed him my ID before he even asked because I know the drill. Then I gave him my WoW VISA, which I've started using again only to pay it off at the end of the month just because I'm still bitter and I want to rack up the points. The cashier grinned, 'you play?'

No, I carry it around for the pretty. "Yeah."

"Who do you have on there?" And I thought that was a strange question to ask. Did he mean which server? Which faction? Which race? Class? I told him I have different kinds but mostly Horde.

Then he started naming his characters. I just stared. He said he had a priest and I found a place to interject. "I'm no good with priests, my highest are rogues in their 50's."

"Oh so you just started!"

Here's when it started feeling somewhat surreal. "No, I've been playing for a couple of years." Then, "On and off," I added.

"I've been playing for five years."

Good for you, grandpa. And it hit me, when did I become one of Those People? There was a time when I did nothing but watch TV and write my stories. I wasn't one of those people who 'had lives'. And now I'm encountering people who play way more WoW than I do, even though I love to play and I do make time for it (when I have the money), and they look at me like I'm not geeky enough for their crew. I'm not a n00b. :P So there.

Anyway. Another lesson learned came at the gas pumps. They're run by the grocery store people, Giant, and when you spend $100 on food you get 100 points and that gets you .10 cents of gas. If you're already buying your food there, which I do because it's the only place I've found that has everything I eat, you tend to use the points when you got them. I had also timed it perfectly, given that the points would expire today, and my tank was low enough for me to justify using them at all.

Apparently everybody else had the same idea. Note to self, don't go to get gas at the Giant on the points expiration date.

Got gas, got milk and cereal and soday and some Venom which I've never tried before.

Started on the way home.

Now if you've been paying attention, you might realise that I haven't. I got halfway home (good thing it's a 5 minute drive) before realising I didn't get cash, therefore I couldn't get the curry.

I turned around.

Learned that the ATM at that particular branch only gives out $20s. At least I'll have cash for junk food tomorrow.

As I drove home once again (keep in mind this is a 5 minute drive), I started planning the last leg of the Failcoach Ride. I would park at the Market and get my curry then drive back home. But I was listening to Enter the Haggis and 'Broken Line' was playing and then this part of the song came on:

Be glad to know that I avoided the whole 'jizz in my pants' phenomenon... barely. But by the time I crossed the river, I kept on going straight home, parked, took my groceries inside, put half of it away before I realised CURRY! Which now was starting to piss me off because I'd already tried to come home cashless, like my unconscious mind was trying to sabotage the entire quest.

I decided to walk without giving it much thought because this is Harrisburg and this is what we do.

I regretted that halfway to the Market. Black tee, jeans, middle of the day, not so much fun. I made it, though. And I has a curry. NOMNOMNOMNOM.